PANORAMA: horses for courses
by .M.
v6 2001/02/5
© 2001

 1     EXT. WOODS - MORNING                                          1

                                                           FADE IN:

       We are moving through the woods. We hear birds 
       tweetering, pan pipes, and other ambient noises. Leaves 
       fall past our view. Young beautiful wood sprites, 
       fairyish females, float past and into a clearing.

       An alarm clock goes off. Almost immediately it is 
       silenced with a smash. Someone yawns expansively then we 
       hear him wake up mumbling. The sprites giggle.

       We move backwards, our view of the woods warps, we are 
       moving through a porthole and...

                                                     MATCH CUT TO:

 2     INT. MAIN OFFICE - MORNING                                    2

       we are looking at the woods through a round picture frame 
       hanging on a bleak office wall. The painting is the only 
       coloured object in the room.


       The background drone of voices grows louder. A lot of 
       people work obviously here.

       CU. PAINTING  

       We hear running and huffing and puffing. PAN, the cloven-
       hooved goatee’d god of the woods, pokes the top of his 
       horned head up inside the painting. 

       Pan sees a large desolutely grey open plan office, filled 
       with desks, a few cubicles, and identi-kit workers in 

       Pan ducks down disappearing into the painting.

       After a beat, the office door is flung open to reveal 
       Pan, now decked out in an bowler hat, an umbrella and 
       briefcase in hand, and a cheeky grin. 

       Pan surveys the office. 

                 Your job, sir, is to inspire these 

       Two identically dressed office workers, HARRY and LARRY, 
       slouch past, heads down.

                           BOSS (cont’d)
                 They lack something. 

       Pan tips his hat to the workers.

                           BOSS (cont’d)
                 I want to see personality... 

       Pan sets aside his briefcase and rubs his hands with 

       We see BARRY shuffling along the aisle towards Pan.

       Pan grins to us and leaps into action, blocking Barry’s 

                     (without eye contact)
                 Pardon me. Sorry.

       Barry walks into Pan, rebounds, and continues walking 
       towards Pan as if on automatic pilot. As Barry rebounds 
       off him again, Pan begins dancing like Fred Astaire. 

                 Sorry. Pardon me.

       Pan blocks and bumps Barry, strutting his stuff around 
       Barry with obvious enjoyment.


       Words are being typed across his eyeballs.

       Pan stops dancing and looks up expectantly. Barry passes 
       him, still oblivious to his presence.

       Pan frowns. 

       Pan reaches over Barry, grabs his head and neatly spins 
       him around 180 degrees, like Fred Astaire twirling Ginger   

       Barry continues walking in the direction he is pointed  
       back past Pan. Still no reaction.

                 Pardon me. Sorry.

       Pan shrugs his shoulders good naturedly. He flings his 
       umbrella away.

       It lands on the hat stand.

                                                            CUT TO:

 3     INT. CUBICLE A - DAY                                          3

       SALLY, a panic-stricken worker, is hyperventilating at 
       her desk. Her desktop phone and mobile are ringing 
       simulataneously. Her computer monitor is flashing between 
       scrolling spreadsheets and the Windows blue screen of 


       Spreadsheets scroll across her eyeballs.


       Pan is juggling spheres, cubes and pyramids covered in 
       spreadsheet numbers staring deep into Sally’s eyes.

       The phone noise fades to techno.

       Pan stops juggling. The objects hang in mid-air. He 
       reaches up, adjusts the orientation of a pyramid, the 
       objects fall, he resumes juggling.

       Sally stares at Pan for a beat. She swivels around in her 
       chair to face her desk. Her phones resume ringing with a 
       loud clatter.

       Pan shrugs his shoulders and adjusts his hat. He’s no 

                                                            CUT TO:

 4     INT. CORRIDOR - DAY                                           4

       LARRY walks past a gigantic display of sumptous banquest 
       food. Pan stands behind it with outstretched arms and 
       chef’s cap. Larry stops at the Yoke machine next to the 

       Pan grins at Larry expectantly.

       Larry gazes blankly at the food.


       Larry’s perspective shows calorie charts and graphs 
       labeling the banquest food. He bangs on the Yoke machine.

       Pan’s smile drops away as a can is dispensed with a 

                                                            CUT TO:

 5     INT. MAIN OFFICE - AFTERNOON                                  5

       Pan stands between rows of desks looking very glum. The 
       office noise is more intense.


       Pan’s eyes reflect the stock ticker on the wall. 

       The ticker blends into...

                                                     MATCH CUT TO:

 6     INSERT. BOW AND ARROW                                         6

       Stock prices and scrolling hexidecimal characters form a 
       gleaming arrow being slowly drawn back. 

       The bow string is released.

                                                            CUT TO:

 7     EXT. WOODS - AFTERNOON                                        7

       A sprite is felled by the arrow. She cries out in pain.

                                                            CUT TO:

 8     INT. MAIN OFFICE - DAY                                        8


       The sprite is reflected in his eyes. She turns grey.

       Pan snaps out of his day-dream. He rips his hat off 

       Barry is sitting nearby staring blankly at a monitor.

       Pan’s eyes narrow menacingly. He flings his bowler hat 
       across the office like a frisbee.

                                                            CUT TO:

 9     INT. CUBICLE B - DAY                                          9

       The bowler hat lands on Larry’s head.

                                                            CUT TO:

10     INT. MAIN OFFICE - DAY                                       10

       Pan snatches his briefcase and surveys the office.

       ECU. The briefcase opens revealing Pan’s pan pipes.

       Pan plays a sequence of notes like a touch tone phone. 

       After a moment, the sound of a modem connecting. 

       Pan nods with satisfaction.

       With the modem connection ‘noise’, Pan begins to expand, 
       a computer screen growing from his belly. 

                                                            CUT TO:

11     INT. CUBICLE B - DAY                                         11

       Larry looks up from his desk and furrows his brow. We 
       hear the forest noises. 

                 Come on. Don’t be shy. It’s all tax 

       Larry stands up and cocks his head, listening intently. A 
       crowd roars. 

                                                            CUT TO:

12     INSERT. PAN SCREEN                                           12

       Our view looks like a fruit machine, Three symbols - a  
       dumb-looking turkey’s head, Pan’s head, and a shining 

                     (to viewer)
                 There’s more than one way to 
                 do it. 

       Pan’s head spins, like in a regular fruit machine. A 
       duplicate Pan head replaces the turkey. 

                           PAN (cont’d)
                 There’s more than one way to play. 

       Pan’s head spins. A Pan head replaces the coin.

                           PAN (cont’d)
                 Do your worst. Make your best. 

       Pan’s symbol head spins. All heads are still talking.

                           PAN (CONT’D)

                 Find your voice. Have your say.

       The three Pans roll to a stop. Jackpot. Coins tinkle and 
       a crowd roars.

                                                            CUT TO:

13     INT. MAIN OFFICE - AFTERNOON                                 13

       All the workers are crowded around Pan, once vaguely 
       humanoid, now a walking talking web browser. 


       Pan grins devilishly, as his onscreen avatar does all the 

                 Step right up, everybody. You haven’t  
                 seen this before.

       Sally is standing directly in front of Pan, pressing his 
       belly as a touch-screen.

                           PAN (cont’d)
                 But be quick. This free line lasts 
                 just a few seconds more.

       CU. PAN SCREEN 

       Several pairs of hands jab frantically at the screen.

                                                            CUT TO:

14     INSERT. PAN SCREEN                                           14

       The fruit machine view as before. Sally’s head appears as 
       one of the fruitmachine symbols. She smiles.

                                                            CUT TO:

15     INT. MAIN OFFICE - AFTERNOON                                 15

       CU. PAN

       Pan grins mischieviously, towering over the crowd. Pan, 
       and his stomach screen contraption, tips over, 
       simulateously sucking in all the workers. 

                                                           FADE TO:

16     INT. MAIN OFFICE - TWILIGHT                                  16

       We pan across the deserted office.

                 Simons? Whitfield?

                                                            CUT TO:

17     INT. PAN BROWSER                                             17

       In the top frame, the workers, fronted by Harry, Sally, 
       and Larry, peer downwards at the woods in the lower 
       frame. Sprites chase each other through the trees. The 
       workers are entranced.


                                                            CUT TO:

18     EXT. WOODS - TWILIGHT                                        18

       We move through the trees. Pan’s umbrella and bowler hat 
       hang from a branch. 

       In the clearing, Pan plays his pipes while the sprites 
       circle around him.

       A round picture frame is hanging from a nearby tree but 
       facing away from the clearing. Inside we see the animated 
       faces of the office workers pressed up against the glass, 
       looking out expectantly.

                                                    FADE TO BLACK.

19     THE END                                                      19

20     EXT. WOODS - TWILIGHT                                        20

       The office layout has been re-created amongst the trees. 
       The stock ticker hangs from a branch. The birds tweeter 

       Harry, Larry, and Barry sit smiling contently at their 
       desks, eyes still glued to the monitors.

       A round picture frame is hanging from a nearby tree. 
       Inside, Pan watches, shaking his head. 

       He bangs on the inside of the picture frame glass. The 
       picture falls from the tree. 

       THE END
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Script created with Final Draft by B.C. Software, Inc.