April 19, 2002

SRS diary

Had a hard time sleeping last night.Very painful. I've overdone it trying to get my family commission piece ready in time. I can only sit upright at a computer (no matter how many cushions) for an hour. After that my tush feels rubbed and raw.

I woke up as bloody as I've been to-date. Losing a bit of blood from the aggravation.

The dilations are no sweat now. I even extended the large one to 11minutes as a test. The pattern seems to be: the little one goes straight in, the big one hits the pelvic muscle and is painful to push through. If I keep the pressure on and take a deep breath then second or third time it goes through. The muscle spasming is now actually worse at the start, calming down after a few minutes.

After dilating, I leave about 2sq cm patch of blood at the base of my arse, this I think is dribbling out of my neo-vagina. I get tired very easily and I'm getting mild headaches from concentrating. I need to take it EASY.

I'm so unfamiliar with my own body. I'm yet to conclusively identify my clitoris and urethra. Do I have a hood? I think I do but I'm loath to probe around just yet, the stabbing pains I get are bad enough as it is.

Mich suggested that i air "the wound" as much as possible. It's been a good idea and I feel better for it.

Posted by .M. at April 19, 2002 01:49 PM


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